Repression – the courage to be

I’ve been looking for a way to express a few things about repression and fundamental wounds, but I didn’t know how to do it in a way that went to its roots. I was looking for a simple form, understandable to many, but not excluding essential parts. I needed to experience this on myself first.

I attended a while ago an event called “Unfinished”, where I had the chance to see more speakers, and what they attracted as an audience. I say attracted, because it’s normal to understand what was happening around us in terms of broadcasting and receiving. What you emit, you attract. I liked the idea of the event, the arrangement a little spartan but appropriate and in line with the theme. Unfinished, for everything is a flow, in which nothing begins and nothing ends. Topics from many areas of activity were presented, and the audience was composed mostly of young people, eager to assimilate from the experience of speakers who were often business developers or simply exposed their story. Really a cool project, I still want, but let’s come back.

I remember one of the speakers, from a very large software company who put the dot on the “i”, and that gave me the idea to write this article. He said that at the moment, one of the most sought after skills and needs, equally, is the ability to synthesize and deliver information or experience, in condensed, concrete and concise form. More clearly, at the moment, there is so much information, not necessarily correct or useful, that the need to synthesize and select has become a necessity. It is no longer so difficult to search since we have so many online and offline search engines at our disposal. We have reached the point where we need to synthesize and I realize that this is a turning point in our history. If I parenthesis with computers, I realize that much of their processing power is allocated in the same way and for the same purpose.

Coming back to this idea, and its application in practice, I came up with the desire to address some topics of general interest that influence our lives every day and which are the reasons for the main problems we face as individuals. The difference in approach lies in the pragmatic synthesis of ideas through experience and perception. These are not new ideas and you will find a lot of information on the internet or in specialized offices about these aspects of human consciousness. This knowledge is part of my project to decode the reality we live in (DeCode).

Most of those who have stepped on the path of knowledge or personal development have consciously come into contact with what we can call the fundamental wounds of humanity. These are basic states (Feelings), deeply ingrained in our physical and energetic matrices and which, unfortunately for us, logarithm into lower frequencies (i.e. keep us in lower states of frequency that cause various manifestations of suffering). The main reason why these states need to be addressed is simple. The fundamental wounds keep us in a low frequency and in an infinite loop, in which we spin and expend our energy. Whether we do not understand them or run away from them, these wounds are addressed consciously or unconsciously by the extent of the suffering to which we are exposed. They are part of the game of Karma, which you can only get rid of through Dharma. You either experience it through suffering and experimentation, or you become aware of it. In reality, we go through both until we make an appearance realize, and thus the karmic cycle closes.

The problem is that these wounds are very adept at covering each other in such a way that you don’t get to the roots or the causes. You will understand immediately, for I too am tired of the scientific or pseudo-mystical enchantment in which these wounds are shrouded. The mental programs that feed off the operation of these frequencies are very skillful. There are so many human archetypes in which we operate. Each person, depending on the lessons for which he came, experiences different aspects or archetypes that he learns. It’s just that at the base the wounds are the same for everyone and there are not many. Approaching them required simplicity and courage. Here we need to remove some of the veils that dress these states.

The most important and well-known are shame and guilt, which together with fear make a “successful trio” in keeping human consciousness as low as possible. It’s a dance that I went into trying to figure out how it works, trying through what I feel and observe, to untangle the meaning of these wounds. The reason is simple. I think suffering is just a choice. Even though I thought I could somehow “trick” her, apparently I couldn’t. Obviously, I plunged into experimentation with my feet forward and my head back. The idea is not to lose your head, but at the same time you need to experience them.

I don’t think suffering is the right path for evolution, but you can’t avoid it until you understand what’s going on in your life. It is a paradox that cannot be reconciled, but only experienced. It is a beautiful period in which we live. Intense. With everything. You can’t get bored, and whoever does, means they are in one of the states or wounds below.

It is important to note that states are not emotions and emotions are not states. There are big differences between the two positions, especially from an energy point of view. That’s a broad topic that I’m not going to address here. Let me come back, because I was talking about synthesis and utility.

If we take them by the book, the list of these fundamental wounds would be as follows:

• Suppression
• Denial
• Shame
• Rejection
• Guilt and
• Separation

Repression leads to denial, shame, and then rejection occurs, and finally we cover ourselves with shame and separate. Sound familiar?

Each one represents a deep wound and a very large chapter that can be explained happily ever after, but that’s not the point. The idea is to get out of this whole story faster without a few years of therapy. I will approach them one by one or as it suits me, but the first one seems very important to me. What’s ahead of it seems even more important to me. There is no shortage of materials, but of time. This is another paradox in which we are trapped, completely illusory otherwise, located at a higher level of frequency coding.

What interested me is how do these programs work and how is the initial coding done? The mind begins to influence us from an early age and adds over our heart, layer after layer of program. In this way, the mind and its programs keep us on a leash from the first 7 years of life. In fact, that’s where the whole story happens. Few of us today escape unscheduled. I was no exception. Of course, this social mind we’re infected with isn’t bad, it’s just useful. It helped us overcome survival as a species, but it depends a lot on how you use it. The problem is that at this point we are using the mind more than necessary, and most of the time inadequately. Just like technology.

Even so, I find it useful to approach each state (feeling, meaning what it feels) to decode it, and here I make an important clarification. Decoding these wounds is a personal matter, even though the basic principles are common. In life, nothing that manifests at this level of duality is set in stone. Here is also the beauty of creation that takes different forms of manifestation depending on the frequency. The coding and decoding of wounds is done according to the circumstances in which each was born and evolved. None of us escapes and here I feel to remind those who have a special origin that we are in duality, and at this level of reality, things are very concrete and affect us on many levels. “Neti, neti,” as an ancient Sanskrit dictum says.

The first wound, and in my opinion the most important, is repression because that’s where everything starts.

Repression means that there is something inside me that would like to surface but can’t, or I don’t create the conditions for it to surface.

Repression itself does not work if it is not seconded by social programs. Watching children express without filters, I realized why they can and we can’t. Most of the time, the mental programs that support various forms of repression are conditioned themselves with other, more subtle lines of mental program that do not allow you to see where the repression itself comes from. That’s it. It’s about light, and I’m going to use a metaphor.

Genetic coding is based on light and light frequencies. Even though I want to put the spotlight on something I repress, because I feel it’s something that makes me uncomfortable, other co-programs (or programming partners) manipulate the light to other aspects. “Come on, you don’t really mean that! You’re going to get upset, or you’re going to be judged, or it’s not pretty, or it’s not cool.” Etc, etc. When I look at a child expressing something very vulnerable to them, I actually see that energy pierce something and come out the way it does. Do that. The feeling is incredible. It’s totally worth it.

Repression is a form of protection of our mind that cannot or does not want to confront the emotions we experience, or the states we experience. Some are so powerful that we simply choose to stifle them or move with them into another phase, such as denial. In any situation, emotions that do not become aware or expressed, turn into subprograms. Even if at the moment this defense mechanism can solve a very tense situation, in the long run it can only affect us in many ways; physical or emotional/mental. Repression can knock you out, but it can also numb your ability to feel emotions or moods. One compromise option is to allow yourself to feel, but not to outwardly manifest what you feel. It works for a while, but the important thing is not to lie to yourself. Continuing down this path is synonymous with emotional blockage that produces accumulation of frustration, anger or many other mental positions that tend to explode at some point. If you repress certain feelings arising from a situation at work that you choose not to express because of a subordinate position, it is very normal for the same emotions to be expressed violently in a situation when you hold a higher position. Of course these positions are false. There are no really positions of superiority or inferiority, they are all in our heads. We are human and it would be normal to treat ourselves on an equal footing. That’s in theory. The practice is very different.

It’s about the position from which you operate in your reality. As Adam Apollo said in the documentary “Cosmic Giggle” – “No one can take away your power because in fact it cannot be taken away, you are the one who “gives it away” and when you want to take your “power back”, you are actually taking energy from the one from whom you claim your power”. It’s not about any claims, it’s just a mental game in which we trained very well.

Repression is based on a complex mental game of positions, beliefs and compromises. I can make 1,000 excuses not to express it, but in the end, that will only reinforce the “personality” program or some other form of mask.

I always wondered what was before the repression and how I came to repress certain aspects.  Why can’t I identify why I choose to repress what feels inside me at any given moment?

Why is it hard to show it? My mouth can’t open and I get stuck. Come on, at least something non-verbal, or para-verbal. This is where my eyes often betray me.

The most dangerous part is the stage where you experience a certain situation that you normally repress and do not even realize that you are repressing. It’s abnormal, but that’s what happens if you keep repressing emotions. Mental programs are designed to push you to operate on autopilot, so that repression takes its course to the next level of denial, shame, rejection. and so on.

The coding of mental programs is done when the child’s neurological structure is not fully developed. More precisely, in the first years of life. The human brain is not fully developed until the age of 40-42. Fortunately, neuroplasticity is not fixed as previously thought. The mind map can be reconfigured, even very quickly. In reality, this neural structure can have up to 11 dimensional levels (Blue Brain Project). It’s a little perverse what’s going on, but nature also has protective mechanisms. That’s how I discovered that the heart and the energy system of the heart cannot be manipulated and corrupted. Otherwise we were long gone as a species. The heart cannot be programmed. The heart can only be temporarily enveloped or fooled, which it does. Each triggers a system of preservation of the “inner child”, a mechanism that the social mind itself uses to infect the original system of perception. Here are several levels of coding, but I don’t go into details.

I’m interested, and I think each of you, how I can get out of this bad wheel, and what’s behind these programs.

Once we have identified the need to get rid of this pressure, observation begins. It’s an interesting exercise for anyone who wants to understand and overcome these elusive and socially conditioned aspects. Current practices of personal and psychological development can teach us a lot, but I like simplicity. I’m looking for shortcuts. That’s my passion.

That’s how I discovered how unexpressed fears turn into repression, and that in itself is the whole key to the situation.

In reality, there was a fork in the level of unexpressed fears. These can be expressed through anger or turn into repression. As usual, we are dealing with duality, and mental programs manifest themselves in repressive or reactive form. So I can choose to express my fears in a form of anger or repress my fears. The optimal or middle way would be to express them somehow, and that’s where we need to go. I mention that rather than not expressing them, it is better to express them through anger. As someone said, “Anger solves things! (Anger gets shit done!)” That’s why it can be very useful, but the consumption is high. It’s a variant, worth considering.

Expressing fears is not a simple job, although in essence it is. The problem is that we are full of emotional wounds and take everything very personally. After all, it’s a matter of ego, but it takes time to understand these relationship mechanisms. The theory is simple, but in practice it takes a lot of gentleness to express these fears. We learn to be gentle with ourselves, being gentle with those around us to whom we express our fears or vulnerabilities.  It’s a complex exercise. How and when you express can be just as important as what you express. But if you don’t know how to express it in a gentle way, express it as it suits you. Better as it comes than to repress. We have been conditioned enough to “speak nicely” and use “beautiful expressions” and in keeping with the environment. It’s another extreme, and like any extreme, it’s harmful.

Let’s understand a little what happens at the level of cause of repression, or briefly: Why don’t I express fears?

Here we need to detail a little some aspects related to fears. Just didn’t think there was a magic pill or magic formula? And yet it exists – It expresses fear and the magic is there. Let’s go back, but remember, this article, as elaborate as it sounds, is just a starting point. So let’s talk a little bit about fears in a pragmatic manner:

What does fear mean?

• Fear is a frequency that can be understood as the absence of love. It’s like light and dark. There was no darkness. There is the absence of light, and if we go further, science has shown us that there is only a very large range of frequencies of light (electromagnetism). The fact that we do not perceive infrared or ultraviolet frequency, x-rays or gamma rays does not mean that they do not exist. Anyone who looked into the darkness with special devices understood that there is no darkness.

Is fear real or not?

• As it is with light and dark, so it is with fear. It is not real. The mind and dual reality we live in “make it real.” And yes, it influences us.
• The danger may be real, but not the fear because it is a projection of the mind about a probable scenario that cannot be determined simply because no one knows what may happen in the future.
• On the other hand, I can’t lie to myself that I don’t feel fear. If they do, they’re in denial or some other position. This is a losing position that can bring me trauma or even death. It’s well known that identifying and accepting fear can keep you alive. The point is not to be “fearless,” but to be brave. It takes courage to address fear. The problem  is that courage is the manifestation at a higher frequency of a genetic coding that has, like any genetic key, 3 positions. At the level of the “shadow”  is control, which is also the basic problem from which the mind feeds. At  the level of “gift”, you will find authority, or expression from the heart, and only at the level of “siddhi” (ability) will you find courage. So we need to get out of control. There’s nothing to control, and that’s what I’ve seen in children. It’s not a phenomenon they control, they just express it.

How can fear be identified?

• Fear is felt (feeling, feeling, in English).
• I’ve noticed in practice with people that we can’t always figure out our fears, or to be more specific, we can’t decode many of our fears. Weird right? We can recognize the major fears that threaten us directly or obviously, but not the subtle ones.
• Allow yourself to feel fear. Fears are felt, but you need to allow yourself to feel fear and not consider it negative.
• Identifying fear is done through what your body communicates to you. See where fear feels in your body. Everyone has at least 2 areas or ways they feel fear. A main area and a secondary one. It’s not all the same. It differs from individual to individual and, especially, from male to female. I’m not saying where you “should” feel fear. I’ll leave you each to discover. It’s a sine qua non exercise.

Cum se simte frica?

• We can talk about 3 levels of fear (see Robert Plutchik’s map of emotions):
  • Sea: terror
  • Medium – fear or panic
  • Small – worry, fear
• Regardless of the level, it feels different and is realized differently in each individual. The idea is not to find a solution, but to let fear pass through you. Do not resist it  – See Litany of Fear (Book “Dune” – by Frank Herbert)
  • „I must not fear.
  • Fear is the mind-killer.
  • Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
  • I will face my fear.
  • I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
  • And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
  • Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
• There is a saying that if you have to do an action that requires courage and you cannot transcend fear, do it with fear of the arm, do it even being afraid. It’s an experience we all need to do. Otherwise, how do we find courage, how do we find the strength within ourselves? Like I said earlier. The idea is to abandon control and see what comes out. That’s it.
• If you are to be afraid of something, then be afraid of fear itself.

Is it my fear or is it taken from the morphogenetic field?

• After all, we must understand that we are born with only 2 primordial fears:
  • Fear of loud noise. To be translated into dissonant vibration.
  • The second being the fear of falling into the void. It took me a while to understand why, and I did that by observing kids who have a reaction of fear when I jumped them up like fools thinking they liked it. At some point you may start to like it when you realize mom or dad is catching you, but at first the reaction is visceral, with beard shaking and panic. The reason is simple. Gravity is not part of the predominant environment in which the soul lives, nor even the child in the intrauterine environment. Gravity is normal for human beings. We are made to float, or to fly. We’ll understand that one day.

The rest of the fears I say are acquired or taken over. yes, it sucks, what can I say. I don’t like what I write either, but it’s the pure truth.

Once you allow yourself to feel your fears, all you have to do is identify them and then notice them. That’s the secret of internal alchemy. Only then does expression intervene.

How to do? How can I express fear?

• Here is the beauty of simplicity. You simply express it because there is no manual for expressing fear. Courage and vulnerability go hand in hand with creativity and freedom.
• “How” is a trap in itself, so I’m not going to explain how it expresses itself because that’s also the trap your mind gets you into. You don’t need to know how. That’s all I learned from the kids. They don’t know how to express it. They just do it exactly as it comes out. Isn’t that beautiful? It’s not easy for adults, but we need to relearn it.
• I was told by a friend who noticed that people are tired of all the information telling you “what to do?”, when they really want you to tell them “how to do it?”; I say it’s a trap. “How’s Trap”?
  • How to do one thing or another? This question is an error in itself that we all fall into, but from which we can rise. We only want the method, and the method belongs to the mind. To wake up, you don’t need a mind but an internal or external stimulus, you need to feel. Who of us woke up from a dream just because our mind is running a script, especially if it’s enjoyable? But what if I give you a nudge? Sometimes you get scared and that’s an internal stimulus, but it also helps an external stimulus. There is certainly no way to awaken or reach a transcendence of duality within duality. That is not possible, nor perhaps not likely. If it exists, then it’s definitely false, or I don’t know it. Whatever anyone tells you, that they have a method to answer this “how?”, I say it is false, but I am open to other views. Of course, this trap is a paradox in itself. A very subtle one.

Why do I believe this? Because the “how” belongs to the mind. Just as you can’t stop your mind with your mind, you can’t wake up using a mind method. When you wake up, you wake up. I understand this mentally, being asleep, because I began to see the positions of duality. When I wake up then I will be able to transcend duality and see what’s out there.

I could not share a method by which you do this. I could show you how it’s NOT done, or share with you the pitfalls I’ve been through, and you may or may not get to.

The big question is: Who really wants to face reality? To accept it?

In fact, that’s the key.

Practical example:

I have observed beggars and homeless people for many years. They accept reality in a much higher percentage than quite a few people. For them, the reality is: Do we eat something today or not. Reality hits them on every street corner. Rain is a reality, as is cold or heat. I’ve noticed how these needy people come to other people asking for a penny or food, etc., and people don’t look at them. Somehow they don’t want to see them, they turn their heads. I wonder if we were alone in the desert and met a beggar, would we behave the same? What would it be like to look at them, and they would see that we see them.

Accepting the reality we live in completely shatters that “HOW?”

You don’t need the “how?” because you KNOW and SEE what and how. That “How” happens.

When do you come to terms with compromise and why?

There is only one other issue I see at this point, and that is the compromise we make when we don’t express something. Yes, it’s a compromise and we choose to make it because we see others make it. I learned through mimicry that you can make compromises and live with them. Yes, you can, but you need to assume the price. Sometimes it’s really big. That’s what we need to understand. These compromises cost a lot.

I don’t express because I don’t want others to suffer. I don’t express because it hurts too much, because my wound is too deep or my fear is too great. What I want to convey is that there are really no positions and hierarchies in this matter. We do this positioning in our heads.

Expressing fears or emotions puts us in a position of vulnerability, and we need to understand that this is not weakness. The mind tries to convince us that vulnerability is synonymous with weakness. It’s not. Vulnerability is a source of strength, of creativity. Brene Brown’s saying: “you need to dare highly.”

In my mind I do not express because it will bring me a position of judgment or stigma. I do not express because my image will suffer. I want to be accepted in a group, at the table, or I find more and more reasons not to express. What does it mean when I say, “I’m not coming because I’m tired,” when in fact I don’t like the company? It’s a lie, but at the same time we repress what I actually feel.

These are moral or dogmatic reasons. Reasons upon motives, but when you understand that you are only harming yourself and then others, you will make a change. Everyone can take a notebook and write down for himself all these reasons and study them until he finds the courage to express them.

Simplicity of expression

The last aspect I feel like writing about today is related to simplicity and what this means at the programming level. I’m talking about mental programming in general, but I’m talking about genetic programming. As a species, we have a mix of genetic characteristics that we inherited from our previous versions, but there is a paradox here that does not help us understand it, but only accept it in its beauty.

The human genetic code is one that should be the most complex genetic code on the planet, given the evolutionary theories by which we are the expression of millions of years of evolution of life forms on Earth. But it’s not. After the human genetic code was mapped, it was concluded that, on average, the human genetic code comprises around 19,000 to 20,000 genes. Initially, estimates proposed about 100,000 genes. It just wasn’t because the human genome decoding project brought, and still does, many surprises. The weirder part is that there are other creatures that have between 50,000 and 100,000 genes in their genetic code. Something doesn’t make sense.

Creation theory doesn’t make much sense either, because we have genetic sequences identical to animals and plants. So we weren’t born out of clay either.

The truth is somewhere in between, and there are many theories here, but what I see is that we were created and evolved at the same time. The best part is that we have been simplified, the human genetic code has been simplified. For a being as complex as us to function with such a simple genetic code requires great mastery and/or spiritual/scientific evolution. Simplicity is a divine characteristic or belonging to a highly advanced civilization.

And let me tell you another genetic paradox. It’s easier to add something to a genetic code than it is to pull out a single gene. Mental and emotional programming is also based on this mechanism.

When you simplify things, you get closer to the essence, you get closer to the source code, you get closer to the divine within you, and that’s what we need to remember. We can understand that it’s within our ability to do it. Express your fears as you feel, when you feel, and what you feel. This is how you can get rid of repressed aspects. It’s not easy. It’s not impossible. There is no deadline, there are no prizes.

In this matter, the only rule is one: There is no rule.

Gabriel Pesa